16-year-old refuses to wear a dress or a suit to her sister's wedding, mom takes her side: 'She wanted to wear her day to day clothes'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 7, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

There was never a time in my life when I had to dress up formally more than when I was in high school. Maybe this was more of a Southern thing, but it felt like every weekend of every spring, there was a gala, a banquet, or a dance where I had to wear a formal outfit. Honestly, I loved dressing up then, and I wish I had more opportunities to wear a floor-length floral formal gown these days! 

The frequency with which I had to dress up as a teen makes me confused about a recent viral Reddit story. An adult woman's teenage daughter refused to wear a dress, a suit, or anything formal to her upcoming wedding. She wanted to wear her day-to-day clothes. I'd expect this kind of behavior from a little kid but from a 16-year-old girl? Their mom is siding with the teenager, and I can't wrap my head around it. 

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  • 01
    My wedding is coming up, she gave me a call saying she didn't want to wear a dress. I said okay, go get a suit or pantsuit. She told me she didn't want to do that either. She wanted to wear her day to day clothes. I told her no and she needs to dress in formal attire.
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  • 02
    020 r/AmltheAsshole u/One_Marsupial_158. 1d AITA for making it clear that she needs to wear formal clothes and I seriously don't care if it's a dress or suit
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  • 03
    I will try to keep this short. I am getting married and I live in the south. My younger sister who is 16 is bouncing around with her clothing style. She is now wearing more Tom boy stuff which in general the family doesn't care. Most of the women work on a farm and most of the family wear male clothes when working. Mostly due to pockets not being a thing for women clothes. So really no one is turning heads at her new clothes choice.
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  • 04
    My wedding is coming up, she gave me a call saying she didn't want to wear a dress. I said okay, go get a suit or pantsuit. She told me she didn't want to do that either. She wanted to wear her day to day clothes. I told her no and she needs to dress in formal attire.
    via u/One_Marsupial_158
  • 05
    She told me she was uncomfortable with a dress and a suit seemed like too much. I told her to show up in formal attire. I don't care what it is dress, pantsuit, suit.
    via u/One_Marsupial_158
  • 06
    This started an agruement about how she doesn't want to wear any of that. I told her I don't care what she wears just as long as it is formal clothes. She thinks I am a jerk and my mom thinks I am being too harsh on her. I don't think it's that hard to dress formal for 5 hours.
    via u/One_Marsupial_158
  • 07
    bewbies- . 1d Partassipant [2] NTA - it is time for her to learn that some places and events still have dress codes. She can learn this either by following the dress code, or by making an ass of herself at the wedding by playing the petulant teenager who decided wearing nice clothes for a few hours was too much of a sacrifice for a family member. If she goes with option B, don't give it a second thought. ... Reply 12.3k
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  • 08
    Some_Wolverine_203. 1d I'd keep her out of the pictures if she shows up in farm clothes though ... ← 3.3k
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  • 09
    Beautiful_Rhubarb • 1d Oh I'd have her in the pictures so they are there for her to cringe at forever. 2.7k
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  • 10
    forgeris • 1d Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] NTA. Tell her that on her wedding she can come naked if she pleases but on your big day you want all guests to look formal and if she can't do something as small as that then she is welcome to not attend the wedding altogether. ... ← Reply 2.9k
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  • 11
    European_Goldfinch_ . 1d I personally didn't mind what people chose to wear to my wedding, I assumed they'd be formal but wouldn't have freaked out had it not been BUT OP is not the here, and is right in that this is such a small ask and it teaches the younger sister the value of stepping up for people you love and making small sacrifices. NTA 472
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  • 12
    lunchbox3 1d • She's only 16 - if they are close I would say OP should just ask her why she doesn't want to wear formal clothes. My guess is it's because she dresses in working or v casual clothes 100% of the time and feels really awkward about being seen in something smart - run of the mill super self conscious teen. She thinks everyone will look at her and there is literally nothing worse. I remember being mortified at having to wear a dress instead of joggers and a jumper. Not a gender thing
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  • 13
    Crooked-Bird-0 • 1d Yeah, she's being unreasonable but that's common for teens, and it's possible that basically helping her see she'll be MORE conspicuous in "normal clothes" could go a really long way. ... 111
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  • 14
    Living-Assumption272. 1d Certified Proctologist [26] NTA. She's 16 and acting like a baby, and your mother is enabling it. She can certainly suck it up and dress nicely for a few hours. Reply 1.7k
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  • 15
    LTG-Jon 1d Also, she's getting old enough that she's going to need some more "formal" clothes from time to time. Whether it's other people's weddings, a funeral, or a job interview, it's nice to be able to pull a suit out of the closet. 553
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  • 16
    jrm1102. 1d Sultan of Sphincter [817] NTA but stop arguing. You made your point. - She's not your responsibility and if she looks inappropriately dressed, who cares. She'll look ridiculous and your wedding will go on as planned Reply 605
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  • 17
    GroundbreakingMenu62 22h But it wont go as planned though? Everyone else will be wearing formal attire and she decides that she wants to stick out? Theres tons of comfortable options for clothes that are still considered formal. They have options, but they would rather dig their heels in. I was like this as a child, but never to formal events. Only to spaces where there was no dresscode or event going on. ... 108
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  • 18
    Broad_Respond_2205. 1d Aficionado [15] and a suit seemed like too much What? It's exactly much, it's a formal wear wedding. Is she just against formal wear in general? If so she might want skip formal wear events. NTA Reply 469
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  • 19
    RawrTobi . 1d I'd be firm on this, she is 100% going to show up in casual wear/street clothes, be ready to either accept it or kick her out. ... Reply 172
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family drama teen teenager sisters teenagers siblings reddit story formal wedding family sibling sister suit dress reddit thread little sister Reddit weddings
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